pre-race thoughts

Now why can't I just be a cat?, when all I would have to do is worry about sleeping and eating?

This morning, I admit -I sat at my computer and shed a few tears. I tend to get over emotional now anyway but all of a sudden am faced with the dread of what I got myself into with Umstead. But now I'm fine -it's a female thing --the rollercoaster of emotions.
I had 2 race anxiety dreams this week -one, before the 60K, was that I was trying to find my clothing (it was lost), drink coffee (none in the house so brain was foggy) and get to my car to meet Frank and Rob --the clock was ticking away and suddenly it was 9 a.m. and the race had started -I was in a parking lot trying to find my car -I searched and searched and a 10 a.m. gave up going --then I woke up. Ironically, after a car -themed dream, that morning Rob had a flat tire! Then, last night I dreamed that I was in a marathon and came in last in 7:40 --I stopped everywhere, and didn't realize how slow I was -everyone had beaten me and they had stopped the clocks and the race was over --my parents had been waiting for 3 hours and they were really mad...now I have to face up to this weekend's event and the reality of it all. Plus, my husband has to work friday and monday (plus, my 8th grader comes home at 9 p.m. friday night from DC and has 2 soccer games this weekend, and Ike has cub scout mtg, b-day parties, and on and on). So unless I can get him a frequent flyer flight back sunday (I fly home mon a.m.) then I go alone. I don't mind that -its an adventure and a way to meet new people:)-plus, as in any ultra, you hook up with people going your pace --hope Tim comes down also,as his training has been sporatic and he is on the fence -he could pace Frank or me. And Barbara will give me a ride from hotel to race site -she already said so. So it's just a race -it's not like someone having an operation or facing chemo, like so many of my friends. So it is going to be an adventure. I am worried about the blister I got Saturday (am experimenting with antibiotic cream, bandaids and duct tape -see photo)...worried about what shoes to wear as made so many bad shoe choices this winter --the Nike Airs that i wore in the fat ass 50K and Goofy's got me injured, as too stiff, so can't wear those.. the Solomon trails shoes feel good but cause hot spots. Nike air-zoom marathoners are too lightweight. Tevas, anyone? Finally I have Brooks and Nike shoes I like but too late for this weekend. The shoes are the biggest worry. Above is what I'll bring for food -Trader Joe's peanut butter pretzels, chocolate expresso beans, starbucks (better check it on plane or they will take it away!) and trail mix -plus antacids -will share with everyone!
I find it helps this week to focus on other things -my childrens' activities, my upcoming art show, the charity bike ride, cat shelter news -speaking of cats, Frank sent me this link to a no-kill cat shelter in lower manhattan!!!!! Can't wait to go visit.
http://downtownexpress.com/de_256/oneanimal.html