Tuesday, April 1, 2008

pre-race thoughts


Now why can't I just be a cat?, when all I would have to do is worry about sleeping and eating?

This morning, I admit -I sat at my computer and shed a few tears. I tend to get over emotional now anyway but all of a sudden am faced with the dread of what I got myself into with Umstead. But now I'm fine -it's a female thing --the rollercoaster of emotions.
I had 2 race anxiety dreams this week -one, before the 60K, was that I was trying to find my clothing (it was lost), drink coffee (none in the house so brain was foggy) and get to my car to meet Frank and Rob --the clock was ticking away and suddenly it was 9 a.m. and the race had started -I was in a parking lot trying to find my car -I searched and searched and a 10 a.m. gave up going --then I woke up. Ironically, after a car -themed dream, that morning Rob had a flat tire! Then, last night I dreamed that I was in a marathon and came in last in 7:40 --I stopped everywhere, and didn't realize how slow I was -everyone had beaten me and they had stopped the clocks and the race was over --my parents had been waiting for 3 hours and they were really mad...now I have to face up to this weekend's event and the reality of it all. Plus, my husband has to work friday and monday (plus, my 8th grader comes home at 9 p.m. friday night from DC and has 2 soccer games this weekend, and Ike has cub scout mtg, b-day parties, and on and on). So unless I can get him a frequent flyer flight back sunday (I fly home mon a.m.) then I go alone. I don't mind that -its an adventure and a way to meet new people:)-plus, as in any ultra, you hook up with people going your pace --hope Tim comes down also,as his training has been sporatic and he is on the fence -he could pace Frank or me. And Barbara will give me a ride from hotel to race site -she already said so. So it's just a race -it's not like someone having an operation or facing chemo, like so many of my friends. So it is going to be an adventure. I am worried about the blister I got Saturday (am experimenting with antibiotic cream, bandaids and duct tape -see photo)...worried about what shoes to wear as made so many bad shoe choices this winter --the Nike Airs that i wore in the fat ass 50K and Goofy's got me injured, as too stiff, so can't wear those.. the Solomon trails shoes feel good but cause hot spots. Nike air-zoom marathoners are too lightweight. Tevas, anyone? Finally I have Brooks and Nike shoes I like but too late for this weekend. The shoes are the biggest worry. Above is what I'll bring for food -Trader Joe's peanut butter pretzels, chocolate expresso beans, starbucks (better check it on plane or they will take it away!) and trail mix -plus antacids -will share with everyone!
I find it helps this week to focus on other things -my childrens' activities, my upcoming art show, the charity bike ride, cat shelter news -speaking of cats, Frank sent me this link to a no-kill cat shelter in lower manhattan!!!!! Can't wait to go visit.
http://downtownexpress.com/de_256/oneanimal.html

7 comments:

AnthonyP said...

You are ready to go. See you soon !

Just_because_today said...

is it a female thing? whatever it is, you are experiencing it. Why not take a small step back and rest a little? maybe race without racing just because. Sometimes overbooking ourselves doesn't allow us to enjoy the simple things - now, don't believe me because i am the overbooker myself but...it is like eating many things at once, you know? no matter how hungry you were, it all mixes in together and you dont really enjoy one single food...not a good analogy, huh?

rundangerously said...

emmy,

you are so ready for this!! way more ready than i am!!

you're going to have a blast!!

CTmarathoner said...

anthony --see you on the trails -
you are going to have fun.
Myriam --yes, think it's an older female thing (mid-lfe crisis:))
I will not overbook from now on.
It is true -I have been told that time and again from my elite running friends..I love the food analogy. That's why i don't go to buffets. Would rather order one nice dish and enjoy it without over-indulging.
Same goes for racing, eh? Oh, Frank or I (right Frank?) will get you something fun from the race.
RD -no turning back now!

Meredith said...

Here's a couple pics i took for you this morning of my puddin'pie.

http://tinyurl.com/yr6gev
http://tinyurl.com/244osy

Just_because_today said...

can't wait to hear the report. I'll be doing a shorter race in Yonkers. My friend is the RD. I'll tell you about it next week.

CTmarathoner said...

Myriam --good luck this weekend -looking forward to hearing 'bout your RD friend.

Meredith --you made my day with those adorable photos --thanks! I have a soft spot in my heart for tuxedo cats as they are so affectionate -I rescued one and have had him for 6 years.